Friday, April 4, 2008

Single Female Seeks Companion

My name is Cindy Lou Stinkslikepoo and I am a SWF seeking anybody. I've tried the bars, coffee shops, street corners, alleys, Wal-Mart and various dating sites but so far I have had no luck in finding even a single date or sex partner. People are usually appalled by my appearance but I have a great personality which is not as easy to show off. I have posted the best picture I have where I am enjoying one of my favorite hobbies. I also like to spend my time hollering at teenage hooligans, hitching rides with complete strangers, feeding children at the playground, scuttle butting, ear wax sculpting and of course my prized collection of things shaped like penises which I use daily for pleasure and pain. There is plenty more to learn and love about me so send me an email so that I can finally discover what intercourse is like with another human being.

Japan Parking Man

Quack QUACK!!

Dearest Ramshackle Reader,

Quack. Quack quack quack quack quack. Quack quack? 
QUACK! Quack.......quack...  quack!!!
Quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack and quack. 
Thank you kindly for your time,
Dr. Quackington Von Duckworth III, Esquire

*EDITOR'S NOTE: Please heed his gentle warning. Dr. Duckworth is a highly respected leader in his field.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Shoot The Breeze

Shoot the breeze
Follow the wind
Clouds erupt
Storm rolls in

I have a Vision!

I have a vision to tell you about
moving pretty pictures with sound
I have a vision a multi color invasion
I have a vision- a television.

Video may have killed the radio star, but I think crack killed them.
Video killed the radio star, but iPod radios killed the Video station.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Wonder Years

Ah, the wonder years
Dating my best girl
Hanging out with Paul
Life was good in the 60’s
Wish I could go back
Live there once again
When it was all so perfect
Dammit! That was T.V.

i'm lovin' it

“Hey Linda! You wanna go to McDonalds?”

“Didn’t you go there for lunch today?”

“Yeah, so? You wanna go?”

20 years later

"Hey Richard? You wanna go to McDonalds?”
“Didn’t you go there for lunch today?”
“And breakfast. So what? You wanna go?”
“Do you eat anything else?”

20 more years later

“Hey Leonard! Go to McDonald’s for me!”
“You can’t move and you still want that shit?”
“You know what I like. Go get it!”
“This has to stop! Did you call the doctor?”
“He’s comin’ Tuesday. Go to McDonald’s!”

That Tuesday

“Doctor, what's wrong with me?"
“Well, what you have is a severe case of obesity.”
“You callin’ me fat doc?”
“I’m saying your life is in danger! What do you eat?”
“McDonald’s. Burgers and fries mostly.”
“My word! Do you eat anything else?”
“Every once in awhile I go to Burger King.”
“You need to start eating healthy. You don’t have much time.”
“I had a Diet Coke last week! I’ll give this healthy thing a try.”

5 McDonald’s binging years later

“9-1-1?...This….is….an…..emergen…cy! I…can’t….breath!”
“Ok ma’am calm down. An ambulance is on it’s way.”

Monday, March 31, 2008

Sunday, March 30, 2008


sunday haiku:

Big truck, "Built Ford Tough",
makes up for his small stickshift?
YEEEAH, he's built to rock!